One year of Quality Sheet 🎂
Celebrating one year of silliness :).
Quality Sheet is 1 today! My lil old newsletter is taking its first steps and abusing the word “mama,” thanks to its limited infant vocabulary.
Whether you read each Wednesday or drop in every few weeks, thank you for tuning in. I hope Quality Sheet has made you giggle and led you down a rabbit hole or two. Above all, I hope each new issue of the newsletter makes you look at your inbox like this:
To celebrate, I’m doing something slightly different and resharing my nine favourite openers from the past 12 months. Which is your favourite? Let me know below. If you’ve enjoyed Quality Sheet so far, why not share it with a friend?
Have a lovely week and see you next Wednesday!
🍬
Nov. 29, 2023
If we’re lucky, every once in a while the internet delivers us a line or two from an icon that unites the masses. The latest wisdom comes from Linda Evangelista. Of her view on dating, the supermodel told the Sunday Times recently: “I don’t want to hear somebody breathing.” It’s a solid interview—further hits include “Knowing your worth is for yourself.” Evangelista joins the ranks of legends who love their personal space, including Whoopi “I don’t want somebody in my house” Goldberg, Kim “I don’t want to be in a situation for even an hour where I’m not enjoying myself” Cattrall, and Isabel “We’re not living together until we can afford a place with separate wings” Togoh*. Ahhh, it feels good to find one’s tribe.
🍬
Jan. 17, 2024
Do you ever wonder what you would end up on “My Strange Addiction” for? I’d probably go on the show over my fixation with soap suds. It’s a relatively mild obsession, but it drives me to waste precious minutes at the end of each shower aggressively caressing a bar of soap. Once I work up a substantial lather, I’ll put the suds in my mouth for a few seconds of bliss. I never eat the bubbles, though. That would be totally weird and I’m not that far gone. Anyway, I was inspired to ask because this is the 20th newsletter, so it’s probably time we get to know each other a bit better. Leave a comment below if you dare.
🍬
Oct. 25, 2023
Pardon the cliché about the tension between the coffee shop customer and the barista. It’s been my reality for a while now, with someone who works at my favourite bakery. Mine, however, is a specific type of agony (🎻) for which I coined a term this past weekend. Meet the mute-cute. It’s like a meet-cute, but instead of introducing each other and launching 1,000 Cupid’s arrows into a heart formation around you, the mute-cute drags on for absolute months. Neither of you says anything—you just exchange timid smiles, darting eye contact, and then silently vow to break the silence next time you see each other. Rinse and repeat.
🍬
Oct. 4, 2023
An antidote to rats that bloat
Last Friday’s news cycle felt like a rehearsal dinner for the Second Coming. As NYC dried out from flash floods, thoughts and prayers went to city dwellers fearing the next of the ten plagues: bloated rats lining the pavements. Thankfully, they’re strong swimmers so the city’s rodent population is untouched (reportedly). But havoc of biblical proportions is gripping another beloved city as bedbugs invade Paris. One insect told me over the phone: “Hey! We need romance too,” so there you go.
🍬
Feb. 14, 2024
SoHo long 👋🏾: A short love story
I once told a guy I was seeing that, if I were to have children, I’d name one Greene and the other Mercer after my two favourite streets in SoHo, New York. It would have brought the romance full-circle: we first met at a crossing along Broadway and, well, that’s not exactly a bully-proof name for a kid, so I thought I was doing us both a favour. In the end, it wasn’t in the stars for us. About two weeks after that conversation, we were no longer talking. Maybe the outcome would have been different if I’d suggested Prince and Wooster?
🍬
Mar. 20, 2024
Four years ago this week, we were speeding through Tesco while heaping family value packs of toilet paper onto shopping trollies, as if doing so were a challenge on Supermarket Sweep. (I say we to avoid singling out the yous that stockpiled Andrex. No shame here! Fear can make us do nonsensical things. But I do feel the need to clarify that I did not panic-buy Andrex. Store-brand tissue works just fine.) What a time. Those helpless rolls of emotional support 3-ply never asked to fall victim to our mass panic!
So it’s no surprise that the toilet paper should strike back. Last Monday, cases of loo roll spilled out onto a Los Angeles highway from the back of a truck, causing traffic jams and closing “multiple lanes.” Coincidence? I think not. What if this isn’t an isolated incident? What if millions of rolls of toilet paper have been colluding, like the orcas, to exact revenge upon us?
🍬
Apr. 10, 2024
A rainbow appeared across London last Monday afternoon. It was unambiguous and chunky, as if a five-year-old had taken a bunch of jumbo paint markers across the sky. Was it a sign? Just in case, I took a picture of it at 16:58. I was unaware at the time that, exactly 20 minutes earlier at 16:38, an email landed in my inbox containing a teenage dream come true. I can officially move to New York!
🍬
May 15, 2024
We’ve had few good summers since celebrities stopped launching clothing lines they claim to have been “very hands on” in creating. What happened to the golden era of QVC collections of the 2010s? I miss the days when a Real Housewife would host a launch party, complete with branded step-and-repeat, for their line of capiz shell anklets. Or their range of fringed acrylic ponchos you could take “from day to night.” We all know they only turned up to the final meeting before designs were sent to the manufacturer. And good for them! It was all so wholesome when that was the extent of disinformation we had to deal with.
🍬
July 10, 2024
I’m in love. New York and I were in a long-distance relationship for a few years but now that I’m here on a committed basis, the honeymoon period is in full effect. The trees are lush and my heart bursts with adoration every day. The fruit stall sellers at the top of my road are the apple of my eye! I skip down Broadway an—oh, sorry!! Have a nice day!—I narrowly miss a cyclist. My ears ring with the sound of blasting AC as the city tries its best not to turn into an actual melting pot of liquefied flesh, concrete and steel in this heat!! Ahhhh. As I peek above my rose-tinted shades to admire the New Jersey skyline across the Hudson, only the words of Bobby Short cross my mind: I happen to loooooove-uh New Yooooork.
🎁
Thank you for reading. Share to sweeten someone’s day—and have a lovely rest of your week!
Isabel :)
Get in touch/share links/follow me:
Always enjoy each edition, the joy of serendipity is a rare thing these days! 🍬
Happy Birthday, Quality Sheet!! You are a source of light! 🎈🎈🎈